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Michael Brown

Most of us know that #MichaelBrown was shot and killed by a policeman while walking down the street. New information was just released that he was a robbery suspect. Let’s say that indeed that was true. That doesn’t mean that the policeman didn’t over-react when he shot him 4 or 5 times. Let’s face it, once that adrenalin starts flowing, it hard to stop it. What I think is important is that we learn that we have to control our natural propulsion to increased reaction and violence. It’s about self control and not reacting disproportionately to the offense.

This is not something that happens only far away in Ferguson, MO. It’s not a problem only with police and police encounters. We are all guilty of over reaction. It’s like finding a mouse in your house and using a cannon to get rid of it. Assuming your aim is good and you kill the mouse, there is still the unintended consequence; you destroyed your house — for a tiny critter.

I had a fight with Nathan a good bit ago that is still memorable to me. He did something wrong. Of course, I don’t remember what it was. But I do remember getting angry — really, really, really angry. I probably yelled and screamed and wouldn’t talk to him. (That sounds funny.) When we talked to a therapist about it, I came out the bad one, because of my over-reaction. We hardly had a chance to deal with his infraction, because it all got centered on my overreaction – just like the cop in the #MichaelBrown case.

Police are guilty of mismanagement of encounters with unusual people. Usual people know to say to police “Yes, Sir; No, Sir” and click their heels. But unusual people aren’t capable of that. Unusual people would include people high on drugs, insane people, and people highly distrustful of the police. Police could use some relationship tips.

Police need training on how to deal with unusual people without killing them or beating them senseless.

And we all need to learn how to communicate, how to get angry without giving ourselves permission to go over the top.

That’s what I mean when I say, ‘Bringing peace to the world one relationship at a time.’ Every encounter is a relationship and every relationship counts.

If you are getting angry and don’t seem to control it but would like to, email me at We can talk.

Merle M. Singer
Relationship problems? Author & personal coach Merle Singer is a relationship miracle worker. Her advice will help you take control of your relationships.

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